What/Who are "third culture kids (TCKs)”? Well, they’re our kids. And they have a very interesting story. It’s been such a gift to be a part of this international community, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. So many of our kids have lived in five or six countries and they’re only in high school! Without giving it much thought, most of us would respond by thinking their experience is pretty sweet! How we would kill to see all the cultures/experiences/places they’ve seen. But being a TCK has it’s own unique challenges. When you think about it, these things are obvious. It’s just that a lot of times, people don’t think about it...
Here’s a good definition of third culture kids to give you an idea of what life is like for them here. Or really, anywhere...
A third culture kid (TCK) is a person who has spent significant part of his or her developmental years outside of the parent’s culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.
TCKs tend to have more in common with one another, regardless of nationality, than they do with non-TCKs from their passport country. TCKs are often multilingual (our kids definitely are - all speaking 2+ languages!) and highly accepting of other cultures. Although moving between countries may become an easy thing for some TCKs, after a childhood spent in other cultures, adjusting to their passport country often takes years.
So basically, our kids create a cultural identity from their passport country (or countries - not uncommon for our kids to have multiple passports!), Costa Rican culture they’re living in, and the culture they create to identify with others like them. It’s pretty complex! And that’s the reason we never ask kids
where are you from? That’s a tough question to answer if you’ve moved around your entire life or are, for example, a Gringo who was born outside the US.
Here are some characteristics of TCKs written by TCKs.
You know you’re a third culture kid when...
-You may look like everyone else around you but still don’t fit in
-You get culture shock upon returning to your “home” (passport) country
-You have a passport, but no driver’s license (true for almost all of our kids - driving age in CR is 18, so most leave for college in the States/Europe before they’ve had a chance to learn to drive)
-You think VISA is a document that’s stamped in your passport, not a plastic card you carry in your wallet
-You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don’t know the geography of your “own” country
-You have friends from more than 30 different countries
-You often speak of your “home” country in the third person as if it were not yours
-North Americans consider your hometown a a tourist spot
-Your circle of friends is as politically, racially, and religiously diverse as the United Nations
-The end of the school year is always bittersweet because so many people moved (or will be moving) away
Doing ministry here is a super unique opportunity. Christ is really reaching the globe, and we get to see that first-hand! The reality of the international community is that people leave. Friends leave. Teachers leave. They, themselves, leave. But we get the opportunity to share with these kids about someone who is constant. Someone who doesn’t leave. And that someone is Christ. And not only does He not leave, he goes with them wherever they go. What a hopeful message for these kids! Someone who is constant, whose love is constant, whose presence is constant, whose forgiveness and grace is constant. In a culture that lacks permanence, where kids have a hard time seeing their identity, we get to help them see that they have an identity in Christ. And that their identity in him is not conditional. It is not dependent on culture of origin or language or where they are living at the time, rather independent and unchanging.
